Translations

Online Profiles are so weird. Why do men think these things will work??

Man writes: “i’m looking for a cheeseburger loving fashionista who’s into trying new things”

  • I see: “I am looking for a chubby girl with low self-esteem that buys expensive things to make herself feel better and is a freak in bed.”

Man writes: “I can’t live without crystal light and diet soda”

  • I see: “I’m secretly a freak about my weight and I count calories. I might be gay.”

Man writes: “I’m looking for something serious”

  • I see: “I can’t find someone in real life because my personality in real life sucks”

Man writes: “I can’t live without the internet”

  • I see: “I stream a lot of porn.”

Man writes: “You are hot, keeping it real, message me.”

  • I see: “I can’t say shit like this in real life, and you’re hotter than me, so heyyyyyyy”
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