How many…

I don’t really like those “HOW MANY” questions people ask….

  1. “How many people have you slept with?” — First of all. None of your business. None. Unless I choose to volunteer that information, that little number will be safely stored in my head and my head alone. In the rules of evidence – this information’s probative value does not outweigh the bias or prejudice of hearing the information.
  2. “How many times a week do you masturbate?” — Also. Weird. I count a lot, but that I don’t count. It’s not like I finish getting my jollies off, lean over and check it off on my list of to-dos. Plus, that would be weird. Let’s just say I masturbate within two standard deviations of normal. Weird answer? Weird question bitch, weird question.
  3. “How many hours did you study?” — Stupid question. Especially if we are studying the same thing, because I’ll do the bitch thing and give you exactly the answer you don’t want. Example: “Non-stop. I’m memorizing every single thing I can.” or “Nothing this week because I’ve been studying like crazy for the last three months. I’m feeling solid.” or  “Oh… you’re still studying?”
  4. “How many hours is the bar exam?” – a whole fucking lot.

 

 

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