The Four Thousand Dollar Girlfriend

Anyone else read this article by the NY Observer? The Luxury Rental Girlfriend.

Let me tell you. I read that shit four times. I also went through and looked at all of those links… including the one where the John’s rank their escorts. I also went and read posts by the girls advertising their services… mostly because I want to know what they look like and what they are advertising. The girls that advertise S&M are super popular, as are the blondes and Asians. I also noticed that the Asian escorts have excellent and professionally done photographs… whereas others simply have normal pictures and the requisite mirror pictures displaying breasts and asses.

All that aside, I have so many questions….Mostly for the $4,000/night girl. Girl….

  1. How do you decide how much you are worth an hour? Is it based on what the first dude you fuck is willing to pay? Or is it based on what kind of clientele you are trying to get? Because… let me tell you $4,000/night is ballsy.
  2. In the same vein… for $4,000 a night… can you say no to stuff the Johns ask you to do? Because, I’m not going to lie, if I gave you $4,000 I would want to do all of the weird shit I’ve wanted to try.
  3. How do you get paid? Is it cash? When you answer the door, do you say “Hi John. Please put the cash through the cash-counter?”
  4. What if your John stiffs you? Seriously. What if he only gives you $2,000….. what then? It’s not like you can call a collection company on his ass. Aren’t you worried the dude will write you a check?
  5. Also. Aren’t you worried about the Johns that show up? Because if they are willing to pay $4,000 for ass, I’m going to guess you have some really fucking twisted weirdos showing up at your “place of business.”
  6. Do you have an enforcer? You know… like a pimp… someone that makes sure you are safe?
  7. Also… how many people do you fuck in a year? How often do you see your gyno? Are you and your gyno besties, because if I was your gyno I’d judge you HARDCORE… unless your gyno is one of your Johns?!
  8. Also… there was a mention of a binder. Do you keep good track because it helps you get paid $4,000? Or are you a secret obsessive compulsive sex addict? Is this how you organize your “dates” or do you have some smartphone app?
  9. There was mention of you being really smart… Are you actually an intelligent human being? Or are you just a really successful sociopath that manages to exploit people’s weaknesses for money?
  10. Do your friends know what you do for a living? Because… I have a hard time talking about sex with my friends, so I can only imagine how weird it would be to tell my friends about getting paid for sex.
  11. Do you have a boyfriend? Does he know what you do? Do you keep it a secret?
  12. Aren’t you lonely? It sounds like a lonely existence with little emotional connection.
  13. What are your friends like? Are they all escorts too?
  14. Do any of your Johns fall in love with you? Do you fall in love with them?
  15. How busy are you? How many hours do you work a week? Is there a slow season?
  16. How discreet are you? Do you promise to never talk? What if a wife or girlfriend finds out about you? What do you do? Do you have confidentiality agreements with your Johns?
  17. How many condoms do you use? How about your repeat Johns? Do you let them forgo the condoms?
  18. What kind of birth control do you use?
  19. Do you want to do this for the rest of your life? What are you going to do when your physical appeal wears off? Do you have a day job???
  20. What do you act like with your Johns? Do you treat them like a boyfriend? Do you behave like yourself, or do you behave the way they want?
  21. When they solicit you for a “date” do you go over details on the phone? Like… how much it costs, what they want, the boundaries, all that? Do you talk about their “special needs” in advance or do you just roll with it as things come up?
  22. How did you get into escorting? Why?

….. seriously. My list of questions goes on forever. I’m fascinated by this subculture of people that engage in regular sex with escorts and the escorts themselves… because to me? I wouldn’t ever do it because it’s so taboo and I can’t imagine charging people to hang out with me.

I do have a good friend who openly talks about his use of escort services. Ironically his name is John, last name equally generic. But he once told me that escorts are fun because they know people… they know exactly how to have fun. He once chartered a weekend cruise from Miami to the Bahamas for his friends and flew 5 of his favorite escorts in for the party. Two of the girls came in from Vegas. Another from Paris. Two from New York… because they do group sex.  He paid each of them $10,000 for the 5 day trip. In addition to entertaining his friends, chartering the yacht, hiring the hookers, and what ever else goes into one of these parties…. the numbers made my head spin. It’s an expensive 5 day binge.

I remember John bringing an escort to a social event once. She was stunningly pretty and well dressed, but it was clear she was only there to be a good time. She gave vapid and rehearsed answers to questions about her personal life… she was simply a pretty facade on his arm. When I asked him why he brought his escort to the networking event, he responded so matter-of-factly, “Who else would carry the blow?” Which begs the questions… do these girls realize they are little, pretty drug mules? Because John brought this girl and stashed his cocaine on her so he could snort lines off her ass. Some how, the idea of transporting drugs so someone could snort it off my ass, and making me carry it so he wouldn’t be arrested for possession seems so…. something. I don’t even have a word for it. But the whole juxtaposition of John spending thousands to parade around escorts and blow seems so unreal and exploitative. I realize some people choose this lifestyle, but even then it just seems so wrong.


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