Business Trips+++

I want to talk about the men that I know who travel for work… and this crazy idea that they have. I have quite a few friends that travel for a living, and some of these men I had dated and some I have not. But, there is this phenomenon that happens when you talk to businessmen that travel a lot that just seems to happen more often than not.

The phenomenon of “I’m going to be in San Jose for a week on business, why don’t I fly you out?” or whatever derivative of that statement. During grad school, I used to tally these little “fly you out” statements, and occasionally I would indulge the man and fly out… especially if it was somewhere tropical during the winter. Because, what girl wouldn’t want to go to white sand beaches and unlimited mimosas for a week?

Anyway. My friend, who I did date once upon a long-ass time ago, recently called and told me to meet him in California. He gave me very precise dates and times, and then told me to book my flight immediately, without so much as a “do you want to?” Now, I just have a few questions…

  1. What… what on earth do you think I will be doing ALL day while you are at work? Should I be lounging in lingerie and pining over your return?
  2. Do you expect me to sit around at the hotel waiting for you to come back? Am I supposed to watch TV?
  3. If I’m being asked to go to a boring city or one that is literally devoid of fun (ahem… Akron?!), how are you going to entertain me?
  4. Is there anything to do during the day while you’re off earning your keep? Is there a museum? A movie theatre? A car for me to drive? Taxis? What is there for ME to do?
  5. What about lunch? Am I supposed to eat alone? Or will you come to whisk me off for lunch? Because I know how conferences work, and that sounds like I’ll be eating ALONE, by MYSELF.
  6. What about dinner? Are you going out with your buddies and smoking cigars, hitting up titty bars and leaving me on my own?
  7. Are you going to come back late, drunk and stupid?
  8. Also… if you aren’t taking me to dinner, who is paying for MINE? Because you did fly me out, and you can’t really expect me to foot the bill for stupid shit I don’t want to do by myself.
  9. If I decide to take time out of my schedule… what am I getting? Is this going to be fun for me? Will it be vacation? Or me just burning time until you come back to hang out with me?
  10. Is this actually going to be fun for ME?
  11. Do you think I find it flattering that you are flying me anywhere? Because I find it WAY more flattering if YOU flew to ME, not the reverse.
  12. Is this your way of “treating” me to a hotel that your company picks the tab up on? Because, that’s kinda unethical and kinda cheap of you.

Now, I know a lot of my questions seem to revolve around “who pays”  and “are you going to play with me?” but it’s a real question… because when I think of flying to see someone, I assume they will spend their time with ME, and not juggling work and me. Because as a career woman myself, I wouldn’t let someone distract me from my career, let along an important business trip.

So. Those are my concerns, questions, and serious comments to those men who think flying someone out to them for a business trip is fun. Because… in my experience it is less than fun and I mostly never want to speak to them again. So… I have a policy. No Business Trips+++.

What are your thoughts?

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