Rude Pre and Post Funeral Comments

Originally, I had planned on writing about my Grandfather, but since he passed away I haven’t been able to write, talk, or think about him without a flood of tears. However, since my Grandfather passed away I’ve gotten some strange and rude comments from friends and family alike… It made me wonder about how selfish people have become. It has also made me reconsider who are friends and not. Keep in mind that all of these comments come from people who are fully aware I lost my Grandfather and I was out of the country for his funeral. I obviously did not respond, but I did write my inner commentary down.

  1. “Are you having fun in Korea?” –  Yup. Super fun. Nothing is as fun as a funeral? Seriously. What part of your brain is broken that those words could slip out of your mouth? Even a two digit IQ won’t excuse you from that.
  2. “I wish I had a 2 week vacation out of the country” – I’m not on vacation. I had to leave the country to bury a family member. I had to leave the country to do something that no one ever wants to do. I had to leave the country to face the reality of losing someone I loved deeply. Because I left the country doesn’t mean it was vacation. I was gone for two weeks so I could bury and pay my respects to my Grandfather.
  3. “I’m having a great month. I’m so happy. Also. Sucks about your gramps.” – Listen, you disrespectful little shit, dare you use any rude abbreviation about my Grandfather again and I will break your jaw. This whole thing more than sucks. I feel broken inside and nothing can make me feel better. My family members feel the same… but please. Go ahead. Tell me about your freaking “great month.”
  4. “… but your Grandfather was like… ancient!” – And you’re an immature asshole who has no idea about respect. So just walk away before I do something regrettable.
  5. “Well… he lived a really long life.” – Yeah? Well… I think you’ve lived long enough too… so why don’t you drop dead? How could you say that those years were enough to someone who would do anything for just a few hours, a few minutes, a few moments more?
  6. “Are you coming back for my birthday party?” – I’m sorry that the death of one of my beloved family members is interfering with your birthday and partying and celebrating. Did you want me to bring you a present? Because the only present you will get from me when I return from Korea is a resounding slap in the face. Also. Thanks for asking, I’m doing okay but I’m sad and I’m heartbroken.
  7. “Oh you’re back? Did you do a good job?” – Thank you Captain Obvi… Yes. I’m back. Also. Are you fucking joking me? Do a good job of what?? Bury my beloved Grandfather? Are you serious right now? Go sit in a corner.
  8. “Ew. You’re in mourning for how long? You know you’re not Korean right?” – Actually. I am Korean and mourning isn’t culture specific. It’s about paying your respects to your elders and your family. My Grandfather was special to me, and mourning is 49 days (it used to be 100 days and before that 3 years). So. Yes, I might have a USA passport and have grown up here, but that doesn’t mean I can’t mourn and follow the traditions of my family.
  9. “What are you doing? Champagne and oysters to celebrate your return????” – Nice thought, but I’m pretty sure having a lavish little return party disrespects mourning… and I’m 100% positive I will be extremely unfun.

Ugh. This is definitely one of those times where silence is golden.

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