I decided today that I am starting my New Year early. I’m starting today, and in honor of doing so I finally laced up my running shoes and took a lap around the neighborhood.
I started 2013 with the disappointing news that I had to take the bar exam again, and from there, I simply couldn’t tear myself away from the funk. I spent more time in bed watching online TV reruns than I will ever admit. I spent a really inappropriately long time just lying on my back staring into space… and when I wasn’t doing that, I was blindly purchasing anything I could because I felt a little better whenever I bought something pretty. I let the summer slip through my fingers, and when I received news that a good family friend passed away I couldn’t let go of the feeling that it was all such a waste. A few weeks later, my family and I received news that my Grandfather was ailing. We made plans to leave, but I had the kind of flu where drinking water hurts. We postponed our plans, but by the time we were in the air, it was too late. He passed away before I could hug him and squeeze his hand. We were just too late.
I will be forever thankful that I was able to pay my final respects to my Grandfather. But, as I stood by while my family and I buried our patriarch, I swallowed the regrets that threatened to choke me.
I returned from the funeral with every emotion in the rainbow. I’ve never been good with emotions other than happy and furious… so it was a struggle to realize that I just wanted to cry. I had spent most of the year feeling like my wings were broken, so I was just so tired when we returned. I was angry. I still am angry.
I realize that to most people it may seem silly to say TODAY is MY New Years.. but it is. I made my resolutions this morning. I pushed away the anger… I promised myself that 2014 will be about being happy and healthy. That’s it. I need a fresh start, and this seems as a good time as any. I’m ending 2013 with Thanksgiving, my favorite holiday.
I’m ending my 2013 early, because I need an extra month in 2014 to make up for the saddening year I’ve had. So.
Happy New Years to all of you. I hope 2014 brings you everything you wish for. Most of all, I hope that you chase what makes you happy… because that’s exactly what I plan to do.