I was talking to my sister about connecting with people… I went on a few first days and all of the men told me they felt “chemistry” and “connection” with me. I was flattered, but more than that I was curious about that feeling of chemistry and connection. My priorities have always been academic and professional success, and until now the only thing that makes my heart beat faster and makes me happy is professional or academic success. My heart’s pitterpatter is reserved for those things. I don’t know I’ve ever felt chemistry or connection like that with a person nearly as much as I have with my work and my job.
Last night, I received notice that something I had worked really hard for didn’t work out. It’s a huge professional setback, enough that I immediately thought “I might need a career change.” I woke up today with a little bit of a broken heart. I’m hurt and confused and I’m not sure what to do next.
I’m throwing myself back to into work and being a productive person…. I think it’s the best way to heal this kind of broken heart.