Tinder Date #4 – The Picnic Short a Picnic

I’m skipping dates #2-3 in my chronicles for the moment, so we’ll breeze right on to Date #4. The PICNIC.

Justin messaged me, and after a few cute exchanges, he asked to meet. I agreed. I prefer meeting earlier on, instead of carrying on these useless text exchanges because everyone is charming over text. We agreed on a meeting spot. 4:30pm and he said “I’ll take you picnicking. I’ll see you there.” It sounded terribly cute and romantic.

The meeting spot was a bit of a trek for me, but I arrived at 4:25pm on the nose. It was a beautiful outside, so instead of wandering around the nearby shops, I sat on a bench… and waited……………

I have a horrible impatience for people who are late. I just don’t like wasting my time…. so by 4:45pm I was irritated. I texted, “Not sure if I’m getting stood up. Have a nice day.” And then walked away. At 5:00pm, Justin texted saying that he had arrived. Despite my irritation, I decided to give him a chance because I was only a few blocks away and you never know! It could be fun! I love picnics!

We met. I had a sinking feeling of “omfg this is a disaster.” There was no apology for being a half hour late… but no matter we set off for our picnic. After wandering for a good 40 minutes looking for a “good spot” I realized I had been duped. Everything he had told me via text was a lie. He hadn’t graduated from a prestigious university like he told me. He didn’t run his own company, he didn’t have a full time job…. he wasn’t anything like he had told me. Not to mention his pictures were TOTALLY not an accurate representation of himself. All that aside, I kept talking and walking with him because some part of my brain was like “give him a chance.”

So Justin finally settles on a spot that is acceptable for a picnic, only to find that we have vastly different definitions of “picnic.” He unpacked his bag… one blanket, one sad orange, and one warm can of ginger ale.

ONE orange and ONE ginger ale. I kid you not. I can’t. I don’t even. Like… what?!

We chatted for a bit more, he made some snotty comments about my profession, and then I made up some excuse to leave. As I was trying to hail a cab, he bent in for a kiss… as if he deserved a kiss. I pat him on the shoulder and power walked away.

So long Justin. You were the weirdest, most bizarre person I’ve ever encountered. You were rude, weird, and presumptuous. I hope the next girl slaps you in the face.

 

 

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